After desperately trying to help Kevin get the "Worst Laptop Ever"(tm) working with FreeBSD, I finally gave him the instructions to fix the problems he was having with it (random reboots, intermittent pcmcia problems, etc.). The MSN conversation follows:
<Kevin> BSD boot is frozen:
<Brian> here's what I want you do to
<Brian> But you need to follow these instructions VERY CAREFULLY to get this fixed.
<Brian> WRITE THEM DOWN if you have to
<Brian> (it's going to suck, but it's the only way to get this fixed)
<Brian> 1> Power off the laptop
<Brian> 2> Remove the hard drive (it'll take a screw driver)
<Brian> 3> once you've got the hard drive out, set it asside.. we'll need that in a second
<Brian> 4> Throw the laptop in the garbage. Do whatever you have to do to resist the temptation to pull it out again. (Pee on it if you have to).
<Brian> 5> Sell hard drive on eBay.
***** LONG PAUSE ******
<Kevin> kinda funny, when you think about it...
<Kevin> I get a brand new Celeron 2.2 and all I wanna do is play with a broken laptop
<Kevin> well, ready for the good news or the bad news?
<Kevin> (there's only one news... it's all in your interpretation)
<Kevin> when jamming the PCMCIA card into the broken slot, I bent a pin, subsequently damaging the receptecle end of the LAN card and ruining PCMCIA0
<Kevin> ROFL but the story gets better.
<Kevin> as I was trying to get it out, I pulled the dongle off of the LAN cable
<Kevin> I bent the dongle end, trying to use it to pull out the card
<Kevin> and then broke the plastic clip of the LAN cable as it caught the edge of the desk
<Kevin> BUT WAIT!@!
<Kevin> pissed off at myself for pulling out the PCMCIA card that I KNEW should not be removed...
<Kevin> I dropped into my lawn chair (computer chair) and my shorts split right down the buttcrack
<Kevin> ROFL it's all true!
<Brian> phsaw
<Brian> you lie
<Kevin> NO@@!!!
<Kevin> I swear it!!!!
<Kevin> Long pause after your 1,2,3,4,5 list was me changing my shorts ROFL... I PROMISE!!!
<Kevin> I always tell you the truth about my lies.
<Kevin> this one is not a lie.
<Brian> I expect a blog entry for this.
<Kevin> ROFL
<Kevin> HELL NO!
<Brian> if you don't blog it, I will.
<Kevin> only fat people split their shorts down the middle
<Kevin> I'm not fat, I'm big-boned </cartman>
<Kevin> no blog.
<Brian> I'm formatting the conversation as we speak
<Kevin> You suck!
Comments (7)
mwuahahahahahahahahahaha...
*points and laughs at kevin*
Posted by Larry | July 11, 2003 9:14 AM
Posted on July 11, 2003 09:14
Poor, poor kev. At least he knew where the On button was.
Posted by Dave | July 11, 2003 12:15 PM
Posted on July 11, 2003 12:15
I laughed, and then laughed, with no idea why. I 'm lucky I can get to this site, I can barely operate my computer. Is this comment to long? Am I violating some blog etiquette? Oh well....
Posted by Nocile | July 11, 2003 11:37 PM
Posted on July 11, 2003 23:37
that's funny..you suck kevin..in a nerdy fat-person way..ha ha you split your pants...ha ha..
i want a blog...oh wait..i have one...
Posted by sarah | July 15, 2003 6:42 AM
Posted on July 15, 2003 06:42
What my friend Brian taught me:
1. It's better to learn how to fish than to spend all of your time playing video games.
2. Never let anyone understand how dumb you are. Point out another dummy if you can to divert everyone's attention.
3. Never fly out to meet a girl you've met on the Internet.
4. Toys are fun. No really.
5. Spending all of your money is the root of all evil.
6. The Tax man's a bitch.
7. Living through other people can be fun and rewarding, but the whole minion thing sucks... for the minion.
8. Everyone should have a few minions.
9. There is always more than one solution to any problem. Always choose the easiest.
10. The graveyards are full of indispensible people.
Posted by Dave | July 21, 2003 4:22 PM
Posted on July 21, 2003 16:22
What my friend Brian taught me:
1. Don't try to install Free BSD on a broken laptop
2. Don't hold your breath waiting for the postman.
3. Don't confess (no matter how funny it is) splitting your shorts.
4. Get to work early, go home late - and maybe take a lunch break (if you're really good).
5. Girls are much prettier in Utah than anywhere else in the world.
6. Don't get the IBC... the stuff on tap has free refills.
7. There comes a point where Google visits my site more than everyone else combined.
8. Don't leave CDs in his car.
9. Brian can't really fly - but he can make red lights turn green just by staring at them (if you wait long enough, it's really cool!)
10. Check the wiring to the switch before calling Dell's tech support.
Posted by Kevin Holmes | August 3, 2003 10:05 PM
Posted on August 3, 2003 22:05
I have an old IBM Thinkpad that doesn't work... Kevin can beat up on that if he needs another laptop.
But I already pissed on it.
Posted by Ogre | September 14, 2003 10:19 AM
Posted on September 14, 2003 10:19