"I remember how my Great Uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out of a larger toy boat I had. It was almost as good as the first one, except now it had bumpy whittle marks all over it. And no paint, because he had whittled off the paint." -- Jack Handey
In other news... So I get the call from the long distance company (you know the call)
Comments (2)
That reminds me of one time I was on the air at KPTY in 1999. Our studio "hotline" (which is an internal-only number, used for staff to get through to the DJ). We had recently changed our hotline (a former DJ had given it out for chicks to call him).
HOTLINE FLASHES
KEVIN: Hello?
LADY: Hello, sir... I'm with the Arizona Republic, and I have a great deal on monthly newspaper subscriptions
KEVIN: Actually, the machine near my house is broken - I just steal 'em when I want to read the paper
LADY: (giggling) well, don't you feel a bit guilty doing that?
KEVIN: Lady, you should see some of the stuff I do - that's on the more innocent side.
After about 10 minutes of talk, flirting, asking her what she was wearing - she asked what I did. I told her I was a DJ... and she obviously asked... "uhhm... am I on the radio?"
Of course she was!
Posted by Kevin Holmes | March 3, 2003 9:13 PM
Posted on March 3, 2003 21:13
Another time, a mortuary salesman called... trying to sell me a "pre-paid" funeral plan.
I told him that I was in a gang and I'd probably need one pretty soon - that I was a smart street thug and pre-planning would keep my homies from suffering the burdern of my passing.
I asked him things like...
"is the casket bulletproof?"
"what if I burn to death - do my homies get my money back?"
"Can I come downtown and lie down in it and **** to see if I fit in it?"
The guy was really suckered in... trying to make a sale, but desperately NOT wanting me and my gang thugs coming to his office to lie down in coffins.
Posted by Kevin Holmes | March 3, 2003 9:17 PM
Posted on March 3, 2003 21:17